A MOTHER'S MANIFESTO

A few weeks ago, I read that if you're unclear about your purpose in life, ask yourself what wakes you at 3am. I did. My soul answered loud and clear.

Actually, 2:13am to be exact. I woke with fire in my heart, a feeling I thought I'd lost years prior in my 20's. A passion burning within to change the world. I lay seething with my awakening. I tossed and turned, juggling with the thought of falling back asleep, to risk losing it all; all the ideas, the pain, the joy.

Somewhere in the last 10 years, I forgot how to truly feel, how to look darkness square in the eye and not turn away; to forcefully breath soul into fire, stroking the flames, encouraging them to raise higher, burn brighter, to revitalize my passion for life. Somewhere, I lost myself. I decided to play small because I allowed someone, somewhere, to make me feel like I was too big. It wasn't a blatant burn out; it was more of a subtle smirk after professing my love for justice. It's funny to think that I handed over my power so easily, not once, but several times until I no longer felt the courage to express myself.

I began regurgitating for fear of being too authentic. And in those rare moments when my soul lashed out in the name of truth, I anxiously waited for the smirk to cast my opinions off as grandiose and cute.

Then, something magical happened. I became a mother. An initiation of sorts, if you allow. A reintroduction to your truest power, an innate strength passed down from your earliest ancestors. A primitive, visceral ache for your lost sovereignty, and the gift of unwavering love, that once felt, will literally move mountains.

As I birthed my babies into this world, my inner mama bear roared and soared out of me from a place inside my soul I didn't know existed. And she has yet to crawl back in. That voice, an advocate for my babies, intertwined with my own. As I lay next to my sweet angels, I vowed to fiercely love them, to always protect them and grant them the freedom to spread their wings knowing that mama will always be there to catch them. This is my promise; a soul contract between me and these two beautiful souls. How precious it is to know something so concrete, so absolute, to speak it without hesitation or question.

That 2:13am wake up call blasted my heart open and showed me what is inside. I AM Mama Bear. I WILL guard the babies. I Stand for justice, for hope. I will not waver. My heart has spoke.

"I vow to protect the babies by educating the mothers, to help them uncover their lost sovereignty and fully step into their divine feminine.

I know motherhood. I know the insecurities, the doubts, the fears. I know the shock of one day not having a baby to raise and care for and the next having a tine being to figure out and keep alive. I know the weight of those first new months, the scattered sleep and showers, and the deep dark thoughts that ravage the brain. I know the stress of not knowing what to do with a constant stream of endless questions without concrete answers. I know blindly following protocol because it's what 'we' do, as well as going against the herd and ultimately following my heart. I know how scary it all is. I know how easy it is to fall apart. I know how lonely it is as a new mom or even a seasoned mom, giving everything to family and not saving anything for yourself. I know how terrifying it is to second guess everything you do, to go down the Google rabbit hole and be even more confused. I know how noisy it can get in the mind with so many people giving advice on what they think is best for your baby. I know there is strength in being mama, an indescribable love that drives you to give your all to your baby, a bond no one can break or replicate, and by simply being mama, you instantly tap into a wealth of ancestral knowledge. Initiated into a sacred community of other mamas with the same feelings and experience you can trust.

Find your tribe. Find your power. Find your truth. Protect your babies with your unwavering strength, dedication and love."